177

A Q By Any Other Name Would Smell Less Dumb

By admin  /  Humor, Just Plain Weird

In America, there are freedoms that we just come to take for granted, because, you know, we’re so great and all. Like the inalienable right to name your kid the most idiotic name you can possibly think of (pretty much guaranteeing that he’ll be forcibly stuffed into a locker by 3rd grade, by some guys named Chet and Todd, then grow to be as cool as this guy).

geek-dive

Why do we do it? Primarily because we overcompensate for lacking creativity in things that matter, but also because actual celebrities see fit to name their kids things like:

  • Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
  • Seven Sirius (Erykah Badu & Andre Benjamin)
  • Denim & Diezel (Toni Braxton)
  • Kal-el (Nicholas Cage)
  • Peaches Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle & Little Pixie (Bob Geldolf & Paula Yates)
  • Banjo (Rachel Griffiths)
  • Tiger Lily (Michael Taylor)
  • Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (Michael Hutchence &, yes,  Paula Yates)
  • Moxie CrimeFighter (Penn Jillette)
  • Freedom  & Reignbeau (Ving Rhames)
  • Rocket, Racer, Rebel & Rogue (Robert Rodriguez)
  • Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon)
  • Dweezil, Diva Thin Muffin, & Moon Unit (Frank Zappa)

and my personal (least) favorite….

  • Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)

But what about those lesser countries where they don’t love Freedom (the concept, not Ving Rhames’ son) like we do in America? What about those freedom-hating bastions like Sweden?

A Swedish couple is appealing a court ruling that “Q” is not an “appropriate” name for their baby boy.kiddie-q

They named the little tyke apparently after the inventor in the James Bond films, not the annoyingly omnipotent recurring guest star on several Star Trek series.

The couple argue:

“There is now a child who answers to the name of Q. What does Sweden gain by forcing him to take on a new name?”

Maybe the right question is what this little boy has to gain from having such a quizzical name. After all, if

  • a William can write 37 plays,
  • a Susan can be on a silver dollar,
  • a Vincent can paint sunflowers,
  • a Jane can bring us both Pride and Prejudice,
  • an Alfred can make us Psycho,
  • a Marie can pioneer the study of radioactivity,
  • an Albert can discover relativity theory,
  • a Georgia can evoke magical New Mexico landscapes,
  • a Bob can bring us Blonde on Blonde,
  • an Emma can express “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be in your revolution,”
  • and a Thomas can invent the light bulb,

then what more do you need?

If they have a girl, and remain determined to assert her individuality for her, I recommend Moneypenny over, well, just about any of the names of Bond girls past.

177

The Lonely Cleaning Man(iac) Of Sonderhausen

By admin  /  Humor, Just Plain Weird

In a story that even Ripley might not believe, a woman in Sondershausen, Germany has apparently divorced her husband for cleaning too much.

cleaner

Reuters reports that the guy not only did chores, but tidied up and even – gasp! – rearranged the furniture.  He did get a little carried away, however, by actually knocking down and rebuilding a wall in their home when it got dirty (but hey, what’s a little OCD between frenemies?).

The good news is that neither former spouse should have a particularly hard time getting what they apparently want on the rebound – she a messier husband, and he a woman who appreciates his unusual peccadillo.

177

Love In The Time Of Calculations

By admin  /  Humor, News

C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds.

Han on a first date
Photo courtesy Balakov, via creative commons license.

Divorce is so prevalent nowadays that getting married at all sometimes seems like successfully navigating an asteroid field. So how do you know if your True Love will stand the test of time? Well you’re in luck, because divorce360.com has put together a handy dandy Kreskin-like marriage calculator to tell you the precise odds that you will get divorced. It’s absolutely, positively better than a magic eight ball.

And what if you want to know whether it’s worth it to get married at all? Modern Science has seen this to this too, with an online calculator to tell you the financial consequences of getting married (that is, if you make less than $40k a year).

Wish you could take this vital information with you when you’re out and about?  Well, of course there’s an IPhone app for that too.

iphone screen shot

For those who have no desire to get married, you may still get stuck going to weddings, and the inevitable gift expectations that follow. But how much should you give? Forget Dear Abby. Just visit the Wedding Gift Calculator from ihateweddings.com.

177

Love, Lies, The Internet – And A Prelude

By admin  /  Humor, News

You’ve heard of the Nigerian 419 scams: Millions are sitting in a bank account for you because some poor sap met his end on a West African Highway, or the Nigerian government overpaid on a procurement contract, or because a Nigerian company can’t move the funds to an American bank without an American citizen, etc. All they need is a few thousand dollars for legal fees….

You’ve got to ask yourself: could cupid be far behind?

creditcardhook

Nigerian college student Lawal Adekunle Nurudeen (a married father of three) is going to the Big House for pretending to be Benton Lawson, a 57-year old white, British engineer living in Lagos. “Benton’s” wife and only child had died on an African highway – very sad.

According to Reuters, Nurudeen convinced a lonely 56-year old Australian woman to send him $47,000 by convincing her that he, er, Benton, was madly in love with her:

The woman sent Nurudeen money for medical treatment and travel costs to visit her in Australia. He spent the funds on two plots of land and a Honda Prelude….

Whether the Prelude is now on its way to Sydney was unclear from the reports.

177

When He Offers to Split the House 50/50, He Means It

By admin  /  Humor, Just Plain Weird

Reuters reports that a divorcing man in Sonnenberg, Germany apparently took his divorce settlement into his own hands when he chainsawed his summer house in half.  He then took his half of the home away on a forklift truck.

Not to be outdone, Cambodian Moeun Sarim sawed his rural primary residence in half and then he and his family carted the debris away to his parent’s house.  His wife, Vat Navy, added philosophically, “Very strange, but this is what my husband wanted.”

cambodian house cut in half
Courtesy USA today

Now about the minivan….

177

What To Get For That Friend Who Used To Have Everything

By admin  /  Humor

You already give your friends birthday gifts, baby gifts, and wedding gifts.

Why not give divorce gifts, too? It’s likely, after all, that your divorcing friend will have roughly half the stuff that she or he used to have.  Not to mention, she or he may need a little humor / venting / revenge fantasy to pass the time.

Speaking of revenge fantasies, check out the “Ex Kitchen Knife Set” from Amazon (available in several colors):

Ex Knife Holder

 

For those on a budget, there are a number of divorce t-shirts with varying levels of taste. We, of course, favor this one.

Another low-cost choice for those looking to unload some heavier baggage is this wonderfully concise tote bag from CafePress.com:

i'm done tote bag

DISCLAIMER: We don’t endorse the quality of any of these products. We just think they’re funny.

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